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Office Holiday Parties


 

The avalanche of political ads attacking all areas of our consciousness are finally over and whether your guy won or not it behooves us all to come together as a nation and face those who wish to do us harm as a united family. While pecking out these meager words I can hear my television relentlessly droning on about how many people were hurt or worse in how many places around our wonderful planet. It saddens me to realize my short intense prayer for them gets repeated so many times throughout the day. I’m hoping and praying there’s is an end in sight and invite readers to join me. If you or a loved one has been affected please know we care and are sending prayers.

Tis the season most of us are facing with wide eyes and shallow breaths…Department, big box stores and Amazon sales by the dozens…mountains of gifts to buy and wrap or box or order delivered...real or fake tree…pre-lit or traditional…travel to see family or host…gifts for relatives close or distant…neighbors…friends…every darling child for miles around collecting for some school project… I believe shopping sales and wrapping gifts are akin to labor and childbirth. The end results are pure love and life affirming, but you really don’t want to begin the process until absolutely necessary.

But the almost-worst dreaded holiday event of all is THE OFFICE CHRISTMAS PARTY.

Office parties are a whole ‘nuther animal altogether. They say you can learn a lot about your co-workers at these shindigs, I don’t know about that, but I would like to share a few pointers I picked up that you may find handy.

If you are enjoying a conversation with a coworker while strolling, it’s important to actually look up at the stick figures on the bathroom door before opening it.

When you wear some kind of pants thing sporting four panels to kind of make a skirt that slides around while you’re seated… every time anyone at the table moves a chair it will end up on one of the panels. You will not know this until you attempt to stand…as in being introduced to the boss’s wife.

On the same vein, if you ask hubby to carry your lipstick, it’s not a great idea to go fishing for it in his pocket while he’s talking to the finance director.

Should you borrow a pair of shoes from your daughter and decide at the last minute they don’t fit right so you go out and buy a new pair…remember which pair is supposed to go back to your daughter BEFORE arriving at the party.

Noticing a higher-up may be hitting the eggnog a time or two to many is the absolute best reason to acquire immediate amnesia and after checking that he/she has a DD find something totally fascinating on the other side of the room. Dancing your way over only if you have mastered balancing on the above-mentioned shoes.

If you’re seated next to a person who can’t seem to stop talking about his dogs’ new litter of puppies don’t just smile and nod while listening to Proud Mary.

It is inevitable someone will take a picture of you and the beautiful little blond dancing in the same vicinity…from the rear…so you might as well just dance and enjoy.

Stepping outside for a breath of fresh air is not an excuse to stand downwind from the smokers and inhale deeply if you recently put the habit to bed…you actually will wake the ugly thing up again.

 I did learn a thing or two about my co-workers also. We clean up real nice, are even more respectful and cheerful when all decked out, and bad dancing knows no cubical placement boundaries.

 I do admit to being a mite surprised upon discovering that deep grimacing growls are not really the only way male I.T. personnel communicate.

 

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